every night
I lose you more
my fight or flight keeps showing you the door
my shattered heart bleeding out on the floor
I want to cling to you, I feel so needy
is there anything to cling to? no way to make it even?
you were already gone before I knew you were leaving
you brand me as wrong and won’t listen or believe me
your glossy eyes stare as if I’m not even speaking
you twist your knife, I can’t stop leaking
feels a lot like I’m not healing, I’m breaking
its so hard to lose you, on repeat repeating
I never truly had you in the first place. Did I ?
0 mph seems to be the fastest pace you fly
all the times you seemed sincere while lying straight to my face, why ?
all the times you said you loved me then went and loved on her and her and her instead
the way you put me last is permanently burned in my head
now you sleep while I sob and you laugh while I’m in pain
how you so quickly sacrifice me for your own short-term gain
how I never feel seen and you never try repair
how we started being mean and you stranded me there
how the loss of you just thoroughly defeats me
how your slow fade eats and eats and eats at me
I take a mental beating daily, with curdled cream
stinking up my hopes and dreams
every day
I lose you more
in whole new ways we have yet to explore
you were always one foot way out the door
the empty promises, the unfulfilled “more”
they haunt me as you turn to ghost
your mirage of riches that left me broke
I weep at the grave of us, I choke
every night
every day
as I lose you more