Me to my middle schooler as I’m picking her up from camp: Bb I really need you to be my little helper today. Can you please help me for the rest of the day?
My kid: Mehhhhhh *droops*
Me (immediately resorting to bribery here): Ok what if I get you a treat for helping? A new dragon?
Kid: meh
Me: Some Littlest Pet Shoppes?
Kid: meh
Me: Some new clothes from Hot Topic?
Kid: meh
Me: Pinkberry?
Kid: If I were to help all day I would want all of those things.
Me: Okay. Little business woman here, optimizing opportunities. How about I give you a $100 budget and you can buy whatever you want.
Kid: Ehhh, I don’t think that would be enough. That would get me like 1 dragon and 2 Littlest Pet Shoppes only. I just want to get all of those things without a budget.
Me: Okay, wow, tough negotiator. But you know you have cornered the market, and are in high demand. I agree to your terms.
Kid: Sorry mom…
Me: no no, that’s okay – we’re just negotiating a contract.
Never been more proud to get hustled …